Love Hate and Everything in Between
by Persephone1
Summary: There is a very fine line between love and hate. Little do they know, Sonic and Shadow are about to cross it. Prequel to Steps to Acceptance. Pairing: Sonadow
1. Prologue

**Author's Note:** This is my much anticipated prequel to **Steps to Acceptance**. I've _finally_ gotten around to posting it. For all those who haven't read the sequel, don't worry. It's not necessary to read it to understand what's going on (I would love it if you did though). It's only fair to warn you all, I'm not completely certain on where I'm going with this story. Usually I pretty much have everything already plotted out in my head, but not this time. I'm not writing totally blind, I _do_ have a plan for this, but not everything is set in stone.

**Disclaimer: **I do enough damage with my stories alone! Could you imagine what I'd do if I actually _owned_ Sonic?

* * *

**Love Hate and Everything In Between**

**Prologue: Grey Hell**

His world was grey. It surrounded him like a thick blanket, as far as the eye could see, as if all the colors of the world had bled together, and all that was left was this distorted mess. It varied in shades, lighter in some places, darker in others, but all in all it was the same empty grey oblivion. It was more suffocating than any prison, and with it came the inexplicable knowledge that it shouldn't be like this. Something _should_ have been there. But he couldn't explain what that something was any more than he could explain how he knew it was missing.

And then there was the pain. It had always been there simmering in the background, it had just taken him a little while to recognize it. But it would not be ignored. It burned white hot through every molecule in his body, taking precedence over every other possible sensation. It hurt to move, it hurt to breathe, and for a moment his only thought consisted of pain, pain, _pain._

_Where am I?_

_**Who**__ am I?_

More questions he couldn't answer, but he supposed it didn't truly matter. He would be dead soon. That much he was certain of. There was simply no way a person could go through such _agony _and live to tell the tale.

Oddly, the prospect of death didn't particularly alarm him, or at least not as much as it should have. He could hardly call just floating around in an empty void _living, _and compared to the nothingness and pain, dying would be a sweet release.

Maybe he already had. Maybe he had been a very bad person in life and he had been sent here as punishment. It made sense. That would explain why his body felt like it was on fire, and how he got to this vacant, washed out wasteland. Drowning in everlasting nothingness seemed to be a far more daunting sentence to him than eternal damnation burning in hellfire.

He would lose himself here. Of that he had no doubt. The pain, as unpleasant as it was, was the only thing keeping him grounded, and soon even that would fade, and whatever was left of him would fade with it. He could already feel himself drifting away…

It was impossible to tell how long he lied there, going in and out of consciousness. All he knew was seemingly out of nowhere there came a series of sounds. A swish of air, followed by a strange squeaking noise. And then there was a low murmur, much closer than where the other noises had originated. A voice, he realized, but it was muffled, as if it was trying to reach him through a long tunnel. If it was in any language he understood, he couldn't make it out.

It wasn't like the voice heralded a great burst of light and color and sound leading to his freedom, but it was _something_. Something he could hold on to.

Light pressure was applied to his throat, and there was more low murmuring. His body was abruptly shifted off the ground and he couldn't stop himself from emitting a soft whimper as the pain intensified with the change in altitude.

Floating above the ground was an extremely strange sensation. He knew he was being carried somehow, but all he could see was grey shadows, so it was like he was hovering on virtually nothing. But what happened next was strange enough to make him forget it all together.

His head was pressed into something warm and solid, and they began to move. Slowly at first, but steadily they started going faster and faster. Wind whipped around him on all sides, his ears popped, and it took a moment for him to be able to hear properly again.

And yet, all the while the voice never ceased, somehow seeming vaguely familiar, though he couldn't quite place it, and he found that if he really focused on the sound he could understand some of the words.

"Stay with me buddy. You're going to be fine."

The words were comforting, and they were said with such conviction he thought he could almost believe them.

* * *

Sorry that it's so short, but it's only the prologue. The other chapters will probably be longer, though I won't make promises on their exact length. And sorry if the descriptions were a bit vague. I was trying to write things as the character would perceive them in his hazy semi-conscious state. If anything confused you, feel free to ask me about it. Preferably in a lengthy review.

**P.S: **First person to correctly guess who "he" is in this chapter gets a cookie.


	2. Welcome Back

**Author's Note: **This is probably the fastest I've ever updated. Actually, I originally wanted to have this out on my birthday, but I didn't quite make it. Though giving myself a deadline did seem to motivate me to write faster.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Sonic and I never will. Any issues I have with that I'll just have to deal with in therapy.

* * *

**Love Hate and Everything in Between**

**Chapter 1: Welcome Back**

This was _not_ how Sonic had expected his Sunday to go.

It had started out normal enough. He had gotten up, ate breakfast, watched a little TV, and went on his daily run in the Mystic Ruins. It was what he did pretty much every Sunday. At least when Amy wasn't dragging him off somewhere, or when Station Square wasn't in chaos because Eggman didn't seem to realize that Sunday was _supposed_ to be the day of rest. But the truth is, normal never lasts very long. Not when you were Sonic the Hedgehog.

He had been halfway through his usual route. He had just stopped by the lake for a moment to admire the water and maybe catch his breath a little when he saw it. A dark clump under a distant canopy of trees.

The site alone hadn't been enough to immediately set off warning bells, but it had been sufficient to peak Sonic's curiosity. So he had decided to investigate the mysterious figure, thinking that it was probably an odd cluster of rogue plants, or something along those lines.

He had been wrong.

It took Sonic a long second to process that yes, this battered crumpled form he was looking at was a body. It took even longer for it to occur to him that if this person was still alive, it might be better to maybe find a way to help him, rather than just standing there like an idiot staring at him.

With this in mind, Sonic moved a little closer, crouching down to scrutinize the stranger's face. He had just been guessing the gender before, but on closer inspection it was clear that he was indeed male. And judging by the amount of dirt covering his body, he had been out here for at least a couple of days.

"I guess you're a hedgehog like me." Sonic observed, noting the head spines.

As much as he hated to say it, this hedgehog was most likely dead. Sonic didn't have to be a doctor to know that his wounds were serious, and they had clearly gone without treatment for far too long. But he checked his pulse anyway. Just in case.

He pressed his palm over the unknown hedgehog's neck, and for a few seconds it seemed like Sonic's assessment had been correct. But then he felt a tiny flutter against his fingers, dangerously weak but undeniably there.

"Pretty resilient aren't cha? So close to death, and yet still hanging on."

There had never been any doubt that Sonic would help this person. Even if he _had_ been dead, he would have contacted his family, or at the very least he would've buried him. He was supposed to be a hero after all. Helping people (even completely random bodies that were basically lying in his backyard) was what he did.

Trying to be as gentle as possible, Sonic reached out and cradled the broken figure to his chest. But despite his attempt to be careful of the hedgehog's injuries, he must have brushed a sensitive area, for from the dark one's lips emerged a muffled whimper of pain.

"I'm sorry. I'll try to be careful, but I have to get you out of here, and that means carrying you."

Sonic wasn't really sure why he was talking to him. The hedgehog was unconscious after all. It wasn't like he could actually _hear_ him. But he kept at it all the same. Perhaps some dim part of him was hoping that his voice could somehow give this creature strength. He would need it.

But how was Sonic supposed to get him out of here? Logic told him to run to the hospital as fast as possible. But the hospital was too far away, and the last thing he wanted to do was jostle more injuries going at high speeds.

He would have to take the hedgehog home with him. Hopefully, Tails would be able to take care of him. Though Sonic would still have to risk running. It was at least a thirty minute walk from here back to the house, and he wasn't sure if his passenger had that long.

Lightly, Sonic pushed the hedgehog's head into his chest in an effort to keep the wind from smacking him in the face and started walking. At first, he kept his pace slow and easy, but gradually he began to accelerate faster and faster until the scenery was just a blur whipping past him.

The blue hedgehog glanced down at his companion and smiled. If you didn't look down at his damaged torso, it almost looked as if he was merely sleeping.

_I'll save him, _he thought fiercely, feeling strangely protective. _I __**have **__to save him._ And if Sonic hadn't known that the action would only cause the hedgehog more pain, he would have tightened his grip.

"Stay with me, buddy. You're going to be fine."

In all honesty, Sonic had no idea if these words were true or not, but at the very least saying so made him feel better.

* * *

Even with Sonic going at top speed, it still took ten minutes to arrive at the house. And every second that ticked by only served to make the azure hedgehog more anxious. He hadn't even slowed down when his home came in sight, only coming to a stop when he was within range of the front door. His momentum very nearly sent him crashing through it.

He also didn't waste any time in calling for help. "**TAILS**!!" Or perhaps yelling for help would be a more accurate term.

Sonic regretted raising his voice almost instantly as the loud noise drove yet another whimper out of his precious cargo.

"Oh! I'm sorry! No more shouting, I promise." Well, at least now he could be assured that his words weren't completely falling on deaf ears.

He wasn't the only one who was irritated by Sonic's call. Tails didn't exactly appreciate being bellowed for, especially when it drove him away from a project.

"Jeez Sonic, yell a little a little louder why don't you? I don't think they heard you in--" The kit's eyes widened when he noticed the injured body in his friends arms. "My God! What happened?!"

"I found him out in the Ruins. He's alive, but he's in really bad shape. You've gotta help him!"

Tails nodded. "I'll do everything I can. Take him up to the spare bedroom and I'll have a look at him."

Obediently, Sonic turned on his heel and made his way up the stairs. "Hear that, bud? Tails is going to fix you up. If anyone can do it he can."

With his line of work, Sonic was constantly getting hurt. Unfortunately, he also had a severe aversion to hospitals, so Tails had acquired a bit of medical training so that he could be treated at home. He wasn't as skilled as an actual doctor, but he could do minor things such as giving stitches and setting the occasional bone. He even had an x-ray machine and a device for blood tests in his workshop.

The spare bedroom on the other hand, was nothing special. Knuckles was the only one to ever stay there, and that had only been a one time occurence. Therefore, neither one of the house's occupants had ever really bothered to do much with it. The walls were beige, the carpet was cream colored, and the bedspread was such a light shade of blue it was almost white. In truth, it was actually a little depressing, and it wasn't the sort of place someone would want to stay long term, but it was perfect for a sick room.

The second Sonic laid the hedgehog on the bed, Tails started the examination. In Sonic's eyes, it merely seemed to be a few minutes of poking and prodding, with the kitsune pausing every so often to write something down.

Finally, just as Sonic's foot was beginning to tap, Tails gave his verdict. "Frankly, I'm surprised he's still alive. None of his bones are broken, but he's burned no less than twenty percent of his body. It wouldn't be wise to move him now, but we should get him to a hospital as soon as possible. I think this is beyond my capabilities."

The blue hedgehog frowned and looked down at their new patient anxiously. It was one thing to know that he was in bad condition, but it was quite another to hear it from the lips of someone who actually knew what they were talking about.

"Do you…think he'll be okay?" Sonic asked quietly.

Tails sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. I'm not going to lie to you, Sonic, his burns are very serious. Most of them are at least second degree, and they go right down into the dermis. It's possible that they might have even damaged the bone and muscle underneath. There's also the risk of infection. But he's lasted this long, so who knows? He may have a chance."

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Sonic asked, feeling a bit desperate.

Tails smiled, produced a syringe and drew out a small amount of blood. "I'm going to run a few tests on this to see if he has any infection in his system. In the meantime, you can get him cleaned up and bandage his wounds. Use water to cool his burns down. Anything else could damage the skin."

Almost immediately after Tails left, Sonic headed toward the bathroom. His first task was filling a bucket with cool soapy water and grabbing a dish cloth to go with it. The thought of basically giving the hedgehog a sponge bath (minus the sponge) didn't exactly appeal to him, but you could hardly recognize his species under all that dirt and dead skin, and it wasn't like he could just stick him in the bath tub. With his burns, doing that could induce shock. This was his only option.

Once that was finished, he grabbed several rolls of white gauze from the medicine cabinet. Well, it wasn't actually a cabinet. They used to have one, but as Tails began to accumulate more and more medical supplies, it became clear that more room was necessary. So, they had relocated to a nearby closet. Tails always made sure it was well stocked, and they had everything from bandages and antiseptic to splints and even a wheelchair (which they had acquired a couple years ago when Sonic had broken his leg. The time he had spent rolling around on that thing had been some of the worst couple of months of his entire life.) But for some reason, neither one of them had ever gotten out of the habit of saying medicine cabinet, so the medicine cabinet it remained.

It seemed to take an excruciatingly long time for the bucket to be filled with enough water, and when Sonic was finally able to return to his patient, he discovered that in his absence the hedgehog had curled himself up into a protective ball (which was probably not good for his condition). Sonic had to poke him several times to get him back into a position that was easily accessible.

He started with the stomach, where the burns were the most severe. Doing his very best to be careful with his wounds, Sonic rubbed his cloth in circular motions. All the while he had to fight the urge to cringe. Chunks of fur were missing, his skin was red and angry, and the burns looked even nastier when they were clean.

But, amazingly some of the skin was showing early signs of healing, and fur was already growing back in some areas. It turned out that underneath all that filth, his coat really was black. In addition, Sonic was somewhat surprised to discover that he was also had a tuft of white hair on his chest, softer than the fur on the rest of his body and strangely untouched.

Once the hedgehog's torso was cleaned, he dressed the area with bandages soaked with cool water. Sonic then repeated this process with his legs (and other unmentionable regions).

His feet were covered with the scorched remains of what had once been shoes. They appeared to be made of some kind of metal, so it took a bit of effort to get them off, but once he did it was discovered that they had almost completely protected the feet from harm.

"Too bad about your shoes. Looks like they were some awesome pieces of footwear." Sonic remarked, a little remorsefully.

Finally, the cerulean hero made his way back up to the arms and face. He was saving the head quills for last, mostly because he wasn't sure how he would go about cleaning that spiky forest without cutting out a large piece of his hand.

But just when he had started rubbing dirt away from the hedgehog's shoulder blade, he noticed something odd. A thick stream of crimson was running down his arm. For a terrifying moment, Sonic thought it was blood, but then he realized that he was looking at fur. Red fur.

It took a few seconds for Sonic to process what this meant, but when he did, all he could do was stare at the limb, his mind in overdrive. Black, white tuft of fur, red streaks, _metal shoes._ It couldn't be. Could it?

But his other arm had it too, as did his upturned quills (if the spines had cut the blue hero while he had cleaned them, he hadn't noticed), and for the first time Sonic realized that the hedgehog's face was remarkably similar to his own.

"Shadow." Sonic whispered in awe. But it wasn't possible. Shadow had _died_. Sonic had watched him fall out into space months ago. No one could have survived that. No one.

Nevertheless, here he was. He looked like hell, but as far as Sonic could tell, he was still breathing. Still alive, if only just barely.

At first Sonic felt, well surprised of course, but also relieved. A part of him had always felt incredibly guilty for not being able to save him during the Ark incident, even though he had been told on countless occasions that there was nothing he could have done. But eventually those feelings began to subside in favor of a wave of horror.

He had just given Shadow a bath. The Shadow that happened to hate his guts with a passion. He had washed Shadow's _ass_! It was a good thing the dark one wasn't awake, because Sonic's face probably resembled a traffic light right about now.

"If the universe has any love for me at all, you'll never find out about this, Shads. I'm sure you'd murder me. Though if history has taught us anything, you'll probably attempt it anyway as soon as you wake up." Sonic remarked with (slightly nervous) laughter.

And then, as if he was somehow responding to Sonic's comment, Shadow let out a low groan and Sonic suddenly found himself looking into a pair of drowsy ruby eyes.

For the third time that day, the blue hero had to quell his shock. He had been certain that Shadow would be out for at least a couple more days. Maybe he really _was_ the Ultimate Lifeform after all.

Inwardly, Sonic shrugged it off and presented his rival with a warm smile. "Welcome back to the land of the living, Shadow."

* * *

I'm hardly an expert on burns. I did look them up, but not everything I wrote was completely accurate. In reality, if someone gets burned that badly they should be taken to the hospital immediately. But I figured the fact that Shadow is the Ultimate Lifeform gave me some leeway on that.

You've all probably already figured it out, but "he" from the last chapter was Shadow and the voice was Sonic. And now for the moment you've all been waiting for. The cookie goes too…_(drum roll) _everyone who reviewed! You guys all deserve cookies (plus I'm a little afraid of what **GintaxAlvissForever**'s Chocobos might do to me if I don't give her one). See you all next chapter!


	3. Blank Pages

**Author's Note: **I'm so sorry this is so late! This chapter should have been up weeks ago, but I was too lazy to type it. I would promise that it won't happen again, but I respect you all way to much to lie like that. Though, on the bright side, now I can give everyone an early Christmas present (at least to the people who celebrate it). To everyone who doesn't, this can be any type of present you want!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Sonic the Hedgehog or any of its characters. I tried asking the Santa in the mall for ownership rights, but all he did was look at me like I was a mental patient, so I doubt that's going to come through.

**Edit: **I'm so sorry to anyone who tried to read this chapter and got chapter one. I was trying to fix a mistake in this chapter earlier this week, and I must of chosen the wrong document. I want to thank **Chiisai Kitsune** for bringing this to my attention.

* * *

**Love Hate and Everything in Between**

**Chapter 2: Blank Pages**

His head hurt. His entire body hurt actually, but his head appeared to be the focal point.

The voice was murmuring again, though it seemed to have reverted back to some kind of foreign language. Or maybe his mind was just too fuzzy to be able to translate right now.

Once it had been a beacon, an anchor keeping him tethered to life. Now all he wanted was for it to stop. He was sick of fighting and holding on. He wanted to give up, sink into himself for all eternity. He was so _tired._ But the obnoxious voice was persistent, chiming in his head and making it impossible for him to rest.

"—_wake up."_

Did he have to? He felt so warm and comfortable, and his body was becoming pleasantly numb. The pain was gradually fading into a faint buzz, and very soon he was sure it would be gone completely. And then it would all be over.

"_Wake up. Wake up."_

The voice was changing, he dimly noted. It was transforming into something softer, gentler, and so achingly familiar he felt as if he could just reach out and grasp it in his hands.

"_Wake up. It's not your time yet." _

_All right,_ he replied dully, slowly opening his eyes with reluctance. _You win. I'm up._

The first thought that came to him when he opened his eyes and was confronted with a white ceiling was that this was not where he had originally passed out. That place's exact location was a little hazy, but he could recall that it had been very green. And the ground hadn't been nearly this soft and warm.

"Welcome back to the land of the living, Shadow." The voice startled him a little. It had never occurred to him that he might not be alone in the room.

He attempted to sit up and face his would be rescuer, despite how dizzy it made him feel, but the endeavor was unsuccessful. He was soon overcome by a sudden sense of vertigo, and he probably would have fallen back down if something hadn't grabbed his shoulders and propped him up against the pillows.

"Is that better?" the stranger asked, smiling brightly. The bed's occupant tried to answer, but all that came out of his mouth was a dry croak.

Immediately, something cool and wet was brought to his lips, and when he realized that it was water, he drank greedily. All too soon the contents were emptied, and as the stranger turned to refill the glass from a pitcher next to the bed, said bed's occupant took the time to silently appraise him.

He was colorful to say the least. His fur was deep blue. Peach was splattered on his arms, stomach and muzzle, and his eyes were such a bright shade of green they were almost a match for his smile. Three spiky quills hung from his head, with two large ones protruding from his back.

_A hedgehog, _a fuzzy place in the back of his mind supplied for him.

"Where am I?" he demanded, although it didn't come out nearly as forcefully as he would have liked. The water had helped, but his voice was still weak and hoarse from lack of use.

"You're at my house." was the reply, as if that explained everything.

"Who are you?" he asked when it became clear that the stranger was not going to elaborate.

The smile faltered a little. "It's me, Sonic. Don't you remember me?"

He frowned and narrowed his eyes. "Why should I?"

"This is a joke. You're joking right?" the cerulean hedgehog asked, almost pleading for it to be true, despite the fact that he knew his companion had no sense of humor.

"Don't you remember Ark? The chaos emeralds? The Eclipse Cannon?" Panic was beginning to settle in the hedgeh—_Sonic's _eyes as he threw out foreign, seemingly unrelated words. And all his patient did in response was continue to shake his head, with an expression on his face that clearly stated that he thought his supposed savior had more than a few screws loose.

"I don't know what you are talking about, and I certainly _don't _know you." he finally announced, mentally cursing. Really, it was just his luck for ending up being saved by someone who apparently wasn't all there.

"Do you remember anything at all?" Sonic asked, obviously desperate.

He considered that to be a very stupid question, and was about to say so, but something made him pause. What _did_ he remember?

Frantically, he scoured the empty pages of his mind. There had to be something. A name, a face, a favorite color. _Anything._ But no matter how deep he looked, he drew a blank. There was _nothing_ _there_.

"What's wrong with me? Why can't I remember?" He clutched the sheets tightly in his hands.

Wait! The sheets! There was something about them that he recognized. The color maybe? Yes, something blue, he remembered something blue. A fabric. And if he could just reach out to that memory and grab it…

Pain. It was back, but this time it was ten times worse. His head felt like it was splitting apart at the seams. He could feel his breath quickening, and his heart was about to jump out of his chest it was beating so hard.

"Stop it!" Sonic exclaimed, once again grabbing his shoulders to steady his sudden, violent shaking. "You're going to hurt yourself!"

Hurt himself? Couldn't the hedgehog see that he was already dying? How could he possibly get any more hurt than he already was just by a small amount of movement? The notion was almost funny, and if he hadn't been on the verge of a physical and mental breakdown, he might have laughed.

"We'll figure this out, I promise!" Sonic cried. "Calm down, Shadow!"

_Shadow?_ The hedgehog had called him that before. Was that his name? Something told him that it was.

The knowledge was somewhat calming, and as the trembling subsided Sonic released him.

"Everything's going to be okay. I'll get Tails. He'll know what to do. He'll fix everything."

Shadow wasn't so sure, but the azure hedgehog so obviously wanted to believe his own words, he found himself nodding anyway.

* * *

_This _was the person who was going to "fix everything"? Shadow wasn't quite sure who he had been expecting, but he certainly hadn't thought that he would be face to face with a _child_. The kit couldn't have been more than nine or ten years old, so young that the extent of his medical knowledge probably could have fit into a thimble.

At least, that was what Shadow thought when Sonic brought in "Tails" (which was apparently not his actual name, but the kid really didn't look like a "Miles Prower"). But then the kid opened his mouth and started talking. And in that moment, all was understood.

"When I analyzed your blood there was no sign of infection, which is amazing considering how long you were exposed to the elements. I took a look at your wounds when you got here, but it was only a superficial examination. If what Sonic is telling me is true, I think that I should take another look." It was amazing such big words could come out of such a young mouth.

Tails' examination basically consisted of unraveling certain sections of the bandages that swaddled his body, staring at that particular area for a few, bare seconds, and then wrapping him back up again. And from this Shadow gathered that whatever the fox was seeing, it was not what he expected, because his eyes kept getting wider and wider with each area he unwrapped. But whether or not this was a good thing, Shadow couldn't determine by expression alone.

When Tails finally finished his inspection, he didn't say anything right away. He just sat there on the bed in some kind of stunned stupor for several minutes, seemingly lost in thought. And Shadow suspected he would have continued to do so for quite some time if the sound of Sonic clearing his throat hadn't broken him out of his trance.

"So…is Shadow going to die or not?" It was said in a joking tone, but the slight edge in the blue hedgehog's voice made it clear that he was perfectly serious.

Tails looked up at the two hedgehogs with a slightly startled expression, as if he had forgotten that they were there, and blinked slowly before he began speaking. "This is…_incredible_. These burns should have taken weeks even _months _to heal. I even thought that you would most likely need surgery, but you are already showing early signs of recovery! The swelling has already gone down and there is fresh new skin sprouting up and repairing damage in places where I originally thought you would need skin grafts. At this rate, you could be better in one to two weeks with very little if any scarring. I have never seen anything like it."

"Really? That's great! Isn't it, Shadow?" Sonic beamed at the black and red patient and gave Tails a pat on the head.

"Yeah, sure." Shadow muttered. "What about my memory loss?" That was where his true concern lied. His injuries were nothing more than a minor irritation and not even the kid's little speech about his apparently miraculous healing abilities could peak his interest.

Tails let out a long sigh, and Shadow immediately knew he wasn't going to like what he was about to hear. "I really don't know what to make of that. None of your wounds are consistent with memory loss."

"There are some things I just know instinctively." Shadow admitted. "Like when Sonic said my name. I knew it was mine even though I can't ever remember being called that before. But whenever I think too hard on where that knowledge is coming from, my head starts to hurt."

"I suppose that could be a sign of physical trauma." Tails replied, though he didn't sound like he actually believed it. "We'd have to do a scan of your brain to make sure."

"Then do it. I want to find out what is wrong with me. I don't like waking up not knowing who I am or where I came from."

"Okay, we'll go to the hospital as soon as possible. I'll schedule an appoi—"

"No," Shadow said flatly. "No hospitals."

"But only a hospital can provide the kind of equipment that you need!" Tails protested.

"No hospitals." Shadow repeated firmly. He wasn't sure why he felt such a strong aversion to the idea. All he knew was the very mention of it set off warning bells inside of his head, and if you couldn't trust your own instinct, what could you trust?"

The kitsune frowned and furrowed his brow in frustration (causing his face to age about forty years). "I didn't think it was possible, but you're even more stubborn than Sonic is."

"Hey! I resent that! No one is more stubborn I am!" Sonic protested, but his smile was good natured.

Tails rolled his eyes and continued, choosing to ignore the hedgehog's outburst. "I can see that you're not going to change your mind any time soon, so I'm not going to waste my time arguing about it. I'll just have to figure something out."

"Thank you." Shadow replied somewhat reluctantly, feeling as if a gigantic weight had been lifted off his chest (not that he would admit it).

Tails nodded and stood up. "Why don't you rest for a little while? I'll go make you something to eat. You must be starving after lying outside for so long. Could you give me some help, Sonic?" he asked, looking at the sapphire hedgehog pointedly.

Sonic, who had completely missed the hidden message underneath Tails' request, stared at his adoptive brother incredulously. "But you know I can't c—"

His sentence was abruptly cut off by a pained yelp as Tails forcefully seized his arm and dragged him out of the room.

* * *

"Tails! That hurts! Let go!"

But Tails merely chose to ignore his best friend's protests and kept a firm hold on his arm until they reached the desired destination of the kitchen.

Once his arm was free, Sonic immediately moved to rub the offended limb and glared at the small fox responsible. He couldn't believe _Tails _of all people possessed such a freakish amount of strength. It was a good thing Knuckles wasn't there to witness that little display. He'd never let Sonic hear the end of it.

"What is wrong with you?" Sonic demanded. "Weren't_ you _the one who once said that me even going _near_ an oven was a fire hazard?"

Tails rolled his eyes once again and turned to open a can of condensed soup. "Sonic, I didn't drag you down here so that you could help me cook. I wanted to talk about Shadow without him over hearing."

_That_ got the cobalt hero's attention. "Why? Is there something wrong?"

"Of course not. _Physically _Shadow is going to be fine. But his memory loss worries me."

Sonic shrugged. "He probably just hit his head on something. It is a long way down from space."

Tails smiled and shook his head. "It doesn't work that way. Though, that does bring up another point. How could Shadow have survived a fall of that magnitude? Anyone else would have been incinerated coming into contact with the atmosphere. It doesn't make any sense." The kit frowned slightly as he poured the soup into a pot and turned the burner on. "Doing a MRI on his brain could provide me with some answers, but for that kind of procedure we would need a hospital, and Shadow _won't go._"

"I'm not so sure if a hospital would be a very good idea anyway. Shadow's face was all over the news after the whole near-destruction-of-the-world thing. After he "died" all charges against him were dropped, but I don't think that some people will be willing to forgive him so easily. And besides, what if one of those doctors recognizes him and gets a little _too _curious about his genetic makeup? We could even possibly get into another GUN fiasco." Sonic pointed out.

Tails obviously didn't like this conclusion, but he still agreed, albeit reluctantly. "You're probably right. But what am I suppose to do now? I promised Shadow I would figure something out. I can't just let his brain go unchecked. He could have serious damage! He _needs_ a MRI!"

"Couldn't you just ask a hospital if you could borrow one?" Sonic suggested, in a well meaning (but perhaps misplaced) attempt to be helpful.

Tails looked at the hedgehog as if he had just proposed that they should just cut Shadow's head open, remove the brain, put a band aid on the damaged area and stick it back into the ebony hedgehog's skull. "You want me to ask a hospital to lend me a very big, very _expensive _piece of medical technology?"

Sonic shrugged. "Um…yes?" he replied, smiling sheepishly.

There was another few moments of incredulous staring, and then the fox turned back to the soup (which had been bubbling for several minutes and was on the verge of burning) and slowly began dishing it into a bowl. He then placed it on a tray and held it out to Sonic. "Could you take this up to Shadow? I have a lot of calls to make."

* * *

They were talking about him. That much was obvious. Tails hadn't exactly been subtle about it, and while Sonic (who he was beginning to suspect was a complete idiot) hadn't picked up on it, Shadow had.

He didn't like that they were keeping secrets from him. It made Shadow wonder if he could really trust these people at all. After all, he didn't know them, despite their claims. And if he did, it didn't really matter because he couldn't remember anyway.

But there _was _something familiar about them that made Shadow suspect that they were at least partly telling the truth. He wasn't exactly sure how or why they were memorable, they just were, especially the hedgehog. But that still didn't determine whether they were friend or foe, it just told him that he had met them somewhere down the line. The worst part was, if they did intend to do him harm, in his current condition, there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. He could only hope they were trustworthy and resolve to leave as soon as he was able.

Shadow looked up suddenly as his ears caught the sound of faint footsteps, growing louder as they got closer. They stopped very briefly and were replaced by a sudden cry of pain. Then they started again, only this time it was accompanied by soft cursing. Shadow smirked to himself as an idea began to grow and flourish in his mind. Perhaps he could take advantage of this situation and get a few answers.

The door opened, and Sonic walked in carrying a tray in one hand. The other hand was gloveless and in his mouth.

Shadow raised an eyebrow as he watched the azure hedgehog place the tray on the nightstand and sit down on the edge of the bed, all the while never removing the hand from its place in his mouth. "What happened to you?"

"Ah affed oop un eehelf." he replied, the words coming out muffled through his hand.

Shadow wasn't even going to attempt to decipher that. "What?"

"I splashed soup on myself." Sonic repeated, finally removing the appendage. "I guess I burned myself a little. Thought it's less than nothing compared to what you're going through."

Shadow briefly considered asking what "soup" was, but decided against it for two reasons. One, he didn't care very much, and two, an explanation would distract him from his purpose.

"What did Tails need you for?" he asked, trying to be casual. Instead he sounded flat and monotonous, but Sonic didn't seem to find that out of the ordinary.

"He just wanted me to help him decide on a soup flavor. I hope you don't mind eating that for a couple days, because that's all Tails said your body could handle right now." Sonic replied.

How had they gotten back on soup? Shadow didn't even know what soup was!

"What is…soup?" he finally asked, figuring that he might as well find out. This conversation clearly wasn't going to go anywhere, at least not anytime soon.

Sonic's eyes nearly popped out of his head at the question. "You don't know what _soup _is?"

"No. If I did I would not have asked." Shadow answered, slightly irritated.

Sonic blinked slowly, looking thoughtful. "I guess I can believe that. It kind off makes sense when you think about it." he remarked, though he didn't elaborate, much to the ebony hedgehog's disappointment. Whatever he had been getting at had sounded promising.

"Soup is what's on the tray." Sonic then explained, bringing it up closer for Shadow to inspect. "It's food. You eat it."

Shadow stared down at the bowl's steaming contents like he fully expected it to jump out and bite him the second he let his guard down. There were pink lumps and white stringy objects floating in a disturbingly yellow substance that looked suspiciously like urine. There was no way he was going to allow this concoction anywhere near his lips.

Shadow's disgust must have shown on his face, because Sonic let out a little laugh. "It's not that bad once you try it." he promised.

It was then Shadow decided to once again try and redirect the conversation (partly to distract the blue hedgehog from his ridiculous notion of Shadow eating this yellow crap in a bowl).

"Sonic…" the name felt strange on his tongue, though Shadow wasn't sure why. "did you know me well…before?"

The azure hero was silent for a few seconds, trying to choose the right words. The advice Tails had given him was still fresh in his mind. _Don't reveal too much. In his current condition, too much information about his past would be too difficult for Shadow to handle right now. Take it slow. It's better for him to remember on his own. _But it couldn't hurt to give his black counterpart a little something, could it?

"Honestly, not really." Sonic finally answered. "We only met a few times, and when we did we were almost always at each other's throats."

"Then why bother to try and save me at all?" Shadow asked, confused. What was the point of helping someone that you not only didn't really know, but didn't even _like_, especially when it looked like he was most likely going to die anyway, even if you did take action?

Sonic looked at him in shock, like he couldn't believe that anyone would actually ask something like that. "I couldn't just stand there and let you die. You needed help. I can't just ignore something like that, no matter who it is."

Now it was Shadow's turn to be surprised. The cerulean hedgehog truly believed that. The sincerity of his words was shining in his eyes. How very…stupid of him. Only a fool completely unaware of the world would be so kind. It was doubtful that another would show him that same courtesy. In this world, people only looked after themselves, and such naïveté would only be taken advantage of.

But something about his words made Shadow's chest feel tight. He couldn't be sure, but he felt that someone might have said something similar to him long ago…

It felt like a very important train of thought, and Shadow would have liked to have delved deeper on it. Unfortunately, before he could do so something hot pushing past his lips dragged him forcibly back down to Earth. He hissed in pain and glared murderously at the person who had somehow managed to burn one of the only places on his body that hadn't already been scorched. His tongue.

Sonic smiled nervously back, still holding the spoon in hand. "Sorry, but you really do need to eat something."

Inwardly, Shadow sighed. The hedgehog was probably right. Starving himself wouldn't get him out of here any faster. "Fine."

Sonic's smile broadened and he happily dipped his spoon back into the bowl. "Great! Open up!"

"Wha—" Sonic took advantage of the opened mouth to push in another spoonful, catching Shadow off guard and nearly causing him to choke.

Eyes blazing, Shadow seized Sonic's arm and held it away from his face. "Stop that! I am perfectly capable of feeding myself."

"I beg to differ, Shads." Shadow growled at the nickname, but Sonic didn't seem to notice (or care). "Do you honestly think you can hold a spoon with you hands wrapped up like that?"

As much as he hated to admit it, Sonic had a point. His hands, like the rest of his body (except for his feet, oddly enough) were heavily bandaged. It almost looked like he had a white club attached to each arm. He could hold something big like Sonic's arm by grasping it between both palms, but maneuvering something small like a spoon would be impossible.

Reluctantly, Shadow let go of the captive limb and opened his mouth.

The soup was actually pretty good once it cooled down a little, but Shadow was too busy brooding on the blow to his pride to marvel at the unfamiliar flavors. Being spoon fed like a child was humiliating.

When the bowl was finally empty, Sonic stood up. "Well, I should probably let you rest now. My room is right next to yours, so if you need anything, just give me a holler."

He started to leave the room, but just as he was about to cross the door's threshold he paused and turned around. "I know we never got along before, Shadow, but I really do hope we can be friends this time around."

Shadow didn't say anything, and slowly Sonic's friendly smile faded away in favor of soft disappointment. "Well…good night I guess." He switched off the light and left the room.

Shadow didn't lie down until after he heard the door close. Turning off the light didn't actually make that much of a difference. Despite the blue hedgehog's parting words, it was still in the middle of the afternoon and sunny outside.

For a long time, the onyx hedgehog just watched his namesakes shift along the walls as sunshine streamed in from behind the blinds. His eyes gradually began to drift shut, and the last thing that came to mind before sleep was the words that Sonic had said to him right before his exit. _I really do hope we can be friends this time around._

Shadow snorted softly to himself. _Friends, _he thought dimly, _Yeah right._

* * *

It was so nice to be able to actually use Shadow's name. I was getting sick of writing "he" and "him" and "the hedgehog" all the time, plus in scenes with Sonic I have to make sure you guys know who I'm talking about. I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can, but don't expect anything anytime soon. I'm approaching uncharted territory. I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and a happy New Year! And remember, the greatest gift you could give me is the gift of feedback (or a car)!


	4. Lean on Me

**Author's Note: **Please don't hurt me! I know I haven't been updating this lately…okay, lets face it. I've left this alone for almost a year. I'm sorry, but I've been preoccupied with other things. It's a lousy excuse I know, but it's all I have. To be honest, I've kind of lost interest. I don't intend to discontinue this story, but there are so many other things I want to do. There's no way of knowing when I'll pick up on this again, but I do intend to see this through…eventually. You all will have forgotten about me by then, I'm sure.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own it. Must we go through this every time?

* * *

**Love Hate and Everything in Between**

**Chapter 3: Lean on Me**

Sonic would never know how Tails had done it, but the kit managed to convince a local hospital to lend them an MRI truck. Sonic had tried asking him about it when he spotted the vehicle pulling up next to their house. However, Tails had only smiled sweetly in response and told Sonic that if he answered that question, he would have to kill him.

At first, Sonic had found the idea of little Tails trying to take him on to be more humorous than anything else. But then he remembered the bruise on his arm, and the rather frightening look the boy got in his eyes whenever he was truly angry. In the end, Sonic decided that he had enough people trying to kill him as it was without adding to the list, so he didn't ask again.

Regardless of where it had come from, the fact that they had procured the MRI machine so quickly was very fortunate. Sonic had received enough concussions in his lifetime to know the risks of leaving a possible head injury untreated. In addition, Shadow was very impatient to get the tests underway. Anyone could see that not knowing about his own life was driving him crazy. He wanted answers, and he wanted them now.

Unfortunately, while his wounds were healing remarkably well, Shadow still wasn't strong enough to walk by himself. Therefore, Sonic had to push him to the truck in his old wheelchair. Needless to say, the ebony hedgehog was not thrilled with the prospect.

"C'mon, Shads," Sonic said coaxingly. "It won't be so bad, I promise."

"And since when have your promises meant anything to me?" Shadow demanded sourly. But eventually, curiosity won over pride, and he reluctantly allowed Sonic to help him into the chair and wheel him up the truck ramp.

The inside of the truck was surprisingly spacious. It was cut off into two sections by a small door and an observation window. One half was obviously where the testing took place, as it had the scanner. The other looked like the area where the actual analyzing was to be done. There was a computer sitting on a sort of desk that was built into the wall, and there, sitting in a nearby chair, was Tails. His fingers were already poised on the keyboard, ready to scrutinize any data this scan would provide them with.

As Sonic helped Shadow onto the MRI table, the kit smiled in a way that was most likely meant to be reassuring. "Okay Shadow, if you're wearing any metal you should remove it now. This machine is really just an extremely powerful magnet."

Shadow's only response was a long stare. Did the kid really think he was hiding jewelry under his bandages? Come on.

Choosing to take the hedgehog's silence as a denial of possessing said metal, Tails shrugged. "I knew it was unlikely, but I had to ask just in case. Wearing metal during an MRI can be very dangerous."

Shadow was then instructed to lie back. His body disappeared as the table was pulled into the machine, and the exam began.

"Be sure to stay calm and try to move as little as possible." Tails said. "Movement can compromise the images."

Noting the fox's good natured instructions, Shadow closed his eyes and tried to force himself to relax. It was hard not to be a little unnerved about being closely surrounded on all sides by walls. He felt trapped in this tiny little tube. Scared, helpless, claustrophobic…

_His limbs felt heavy, as if someone had filled them with lead. So heavy that he couldn't summon up any resistance as he was dragged like a rag doll to an unknown location. The sedatives his captors had given him were clearly doing their job._

_Shadow dimly wondered if they realized that he was still conscious. He doubted it. As he was now, he didn't even have the strength to lift his eyelids._

_Besides, they were being extremely cautious in handling him. Even with the sedatives, they had still wrapped heavy chains around his arms and legs, and judging by the many sets of footprints that were within hearing range, he was being escorted by a small army. They were probably armed to the teeth too. If they had known that he was still somewhat self-aware, they would have surely given him another dose._

_On some perverse level, Shadow found their precautions to be amusing. What did they expect him to do in this state? Knock their heads off? Maybe blow up the building while he was at it? Both ideas, while appealing, would be impossible to achieve in his current condition._

_It may have been a useless exercise, but thinking about what he would do if he had been able of escape was a lot better than contemplating what __**they **__were going to do with him now that he couldn't. Shadow was in the middle of a rather graphic dismemberment fantasy when his guards' procession was abruptly halted._

_There was a tinkling noise, a faint click, and the next thing he knew the weight of cold steel fell away and was replaced by the feeling of being lifted off the ground._

_What were they doing now? Did they plan to kill him? Shadow might have thought so, had his ears not caught small snippets of conversation._

"…_much potential…"_

"_No…too dangerous."_

"…_needs to be kept contained…" _

_The words didn't make much sense to him, but he didn't have time to mull it over as he heard the sound of compressed air being released. Carefully, the person carrying him placed him down into what felt like a sort of padded, hollow space._

_With an effort that was driven by both fear and curiosity, the ebony hedgehog managed to force his eyes open a tiny crack, just in time to see glass casing seal shut over his body with an audible click._

_The thick glass distorted what little he could see outside, and as it was he could just barely make out the sight of white lab coats and the military uniforms of the people standing around him. What was going on? What were they going to do to him?_

_He didn't have to wonder for very long._

_White gas began to fill the chamber, and at the same time, Shadow could feel the temperature rapidly begin to decrease. As his view of the outside world started to frost over, the black hedgehog began to shiver._

_**No**__, Shadow thought. __**Stop. It's too cold. Too cold.**_

_His body was becoming numb, and his eyelids were drooping again. He knew he couldn't fall asleep now. Knew that if he did, he may never wake up again, but it barely registered. He was so tired. So tired…_

"_No." Shadow whispered, his voice so soft it would have been impossible to detect by the human ear. His eyes slipped shut, and he knew no more._

* * *

Sonic had always been a fairly optimistic person. Even in difficult times when it seemed like things couldn't possibly get any worse, he looked on the bright side. It was simply the way he was. So on the rare occasions that he got a bad feeling in his gut, the blue hedgehog was usually correct. Today was no different.

He knew something was about to go wrong the second Shadow was pulled into the giant magnet. It wasn't something he could explain, just something he knew to be true. But before Sonic could voice his concerns to Tails, he was almost immediately proven right.

The tremors started slowly at first, barely significant enough for the scanner to register the movement. But gradually they got wilder and more erratic to the point that Shadow was thrashing so violently he was on the verge of breaking the machine.

"Turn it off, Tails!" Sonic cried. "Turn it off!"

The kit quickly obliged, and the two friends ran to help the distressed patient. But getting Shadow out of the MRI did not help matters whatsoever, except maybe by saving the machine from suffering more damage. If anything, the trembling only got worse because now there were no walls to offer resistance.

"Sonic, hold him down before he hurts himself!" Tails commanded.

Sonic tried grabbing the ebony hedgehog's shoulders, but unlike Shadow's previous episode in the guest room, this time the tremors were much stronger. Sonic couldn't maintain a proper hold on him. He had no choice but to climb on top of Shadow, straddle his bucking hips and hold his arms above his head to prevent him from lashing out.

"Shadow!" Sonic shouted into the hedgehog's face. "Snap out of it!"

But Shadow was beyond hearing Sonic's voice. His eyes were blank and unseeing, glazed over with visions of a living nightmare. His lips were moving in what appeared to be soundless screams, but Sonic realized that if he listened closely, he could just barely make out words.

"…cold. So cold…can't move. Please…no."

"What's going on in that head of yours?" Sonic asked, mostly to himself. "How can I help you? I don't know what to do."

"Keep holding him down for me, Sonic." Tails said, almost as if he were answering the sapphire hedgehog's question, even though he hadn't heard his ponderings. "I'm going to give him a sedative.

Sonic wasn't sure if it was the word "sedative" or the rather large needle Tails was approaching him with, but some part of Shadow seemed to register the danger, and it was all he could do to keep the hedgehog from falling off the table (and kicking Sonic in the stomach in the process).

"**NO**!" Shadow screamed. "No, no, no, nooooooooo!"

"Put it away!" Sonic yelled at Tails. Then, turning back to Shadow, he once again attempted to calm him. "Its okay, Shadow. You're safe. Please calm down."

Unlike his previous efforts, this time something in Sonic's words seemed to get through to the onyx doppelganger. Gradually, Shadow's thrashing began to slow as his breathing evened out.

"That's right." Sonic said gently in an almost croon-like tone. A tone Shadow would have probably resented had he been self-aware. "Everything's going to be okay. I'm right here. I won't let anything hurt you."

Eventually, with the help of the azure hedgehog's tender influence, Shadow finally went still and slowly began to open his eyes.

* * *

Shadow had thought he had pretty much grown accustomed to waking up in strange circumstances. You would think that after regaining consciousness in a desolate forest and in the house of a stranger he didn't know but somehow knew him, both of which he had little idea of how he had gotten there in the first place, the element of surprise would have been all but gone.

But that was before he opened his eyes to find himself laying on a padded slab with a blue hedgehog more or less sitting on him. He didn't know why Sonic was there, but at the moment, he didn't care. Just as long as he didn't stay there.

"Get off me." Shadow growled, startling Sonic considerably as he scrambled to obey. Snorting slightly in disgust, Shadow turned to Tails. "What happened?"

"We had just barely started the procedure when you suddenly began to shake violently. The machine was quickly turned off, and we tried to calm you, but you wouldn't respond to our voices. We were afraid that you would end up injuring yourself, so Sonic was forced to subdue you."

As the kit spoke, faint images flashed through Shadow's head. Flashes of pain and cold, of soft words and hazy white figures. But it was like trying to remember a dream. The more he thought about it, the less it seemed to make sense, and what little he did remember seemed blurry, indistinct, and riddled with gaps and uncertainties.

"It was really freaky, Shads." Sonic remarked. "You're eyes were glazed over, and you didn't seem aware of anything. It was like you were looking into a dream."

Shadow frowned at these words, aware that they mirrored his own thoughts. But, despite everything, it hadn't felt like a dream to him. What he had experienced was far too real for any dream. But what else could it have been?

"Did you at least get some information before my…attack?" Shadow asked.

At the question, Tails turned back to the computer and began to type. "Because of your large amount of movement, many of the scans have been compromised. However, there was one thing I noticed before the spasms started."

Tails turned the screen so both hedgehogs could see the image Shadow's brain. "See here?" Tails said, indicating a lit up portion. "This part of the brain is called the hippocampus. It is the brain's memory center. I think that something Shadow experienced in the MRI triggered a memory and caused it to become active."

"But if that's the case, why did I react the way I did? And why can't I remember anything else?" Shadow asked.

"Well, I don't think there's anything wrong with you physically. But there was something else odd about this scan. While I was analyzing it, I kept getting strange energy readings. I cross referenced them with a larger database, and finally realized that I was detecting Chaos energy."

Sonic gasped. "Chaos energy? Are you serious?"

Tails nodded. "I'm positive." Then, quickly remembering Shadow's current amnesiac state, the kit began to explain. "Chaos energy is the positive and negative energy that makes up—"

"—all living creatures. I know." Shadow said. And oddly enough, he _did _know. It was as if the knowledge had been so deeply ingrained into his mind not even amnesia could push it out.

Tails blinked in slight surprise, but recovered quickly and moved on. "Oh…okay then. Anyway, you and Sonic both have more energy built up in your bodies than most because of you're exposure with the Chaos emeralds—which are huge stores of Chaos energy."

Again, this struck a familiar chord in Shadow's mind, although some of that might have been because he was pretty sure Sonic had mentioned emeralds when he first woke up. What he and that blue hedgehog might have been doing to develop such a wellspring, he'd have to figure out later. He didn't have time to dwell on it now, and besides, he wasn't so certain anyone would answer if he asked.

"How does that relate to Shadow's amnesia?" Sonic inquired.

"I believe that this excess energy is creating a sort of block in Shadow's mind. This prevents him from accessing his memories, and every time he tries that energy reacts." Tails replied.

Shadow supposed the kit's theory made sense. It explained the initial amnesia and why his head hurt when he tried to remember anything. But still, some things didn't add up. "What could have caused such a block in the first place? And how am I supposed to get rid of it?"

"I don't know," the kit replied with a sigh. (A sigh that Shadow was becoming very familiar with.) "But being in that MRI today apparently triggered something that even the Chaos energy could suppress. Maybe, if we find more triggers the shield will weaken, and eventually dissipate."

Shadow frowned. What Tails proposed was far easier said than done. Already the images of the past—if that truly was what they had been—were becoming faded and blurry like an old photo. And what little he did remember was very, very unpleasant. It was difficult to imagine trying to rouse something so painful on purpose.

"Well, there isn't much more we can do about it today." Sonic pointed out, "I think that you should be getting back to you're room, Shadow. You look like you could use a rest."

Shadow would have liked to protest. He wasn't a child, and he didn't need to be put down for a nap, but the truth was the azure hedgehog was right. The whole ordeal had made him oddly weary. But before he allowed himself to be wheeled outside completely, Shadow spared one last dark glance at that damn contraption Tails had brought in. It had been supposed to make everything clear, but instead it had yielded more questions than answers.

* * *

It didn't take long for Sonic to settle Shadow back into bed, and the second he vacated the room, he found Tails standing outside the door, obviously waiting for him.

"We need to talk." the kit declared. "Follow me."

Slightly confused, but not entirely surprised, Sonic followed the boy down the stairs and into the living room.

"This is about Shadow again, isn't it?" Sonic said.

Tails nodded. "I wanted to come down here because I'm not sure on how good his hearing is."

Sonic frowned slightly. More secrets. He wasn't sure how he felt about that. But the least he could do was hear the little guy out. "All right then. Shoot." Sonic said, arranging himself comfortably on the couch.

"When I told Shadow that I didn't know what could have caused the wall in his mind, that wasn't completely true. I actually have a pretty good idea of what probably happened." Tails said.

"Well, let's hear it. I'm all ears." the hedgehog replied.

Heaving a small sigh, Tails continued, "I think he created it himself."

"What!" Sonic exclaimed. "How is that even possible?"

"Like I said before, both you and Shadow have excess amounts of Chaos energy in your bodies. That energy reacts to the user's will and emotions. I think that as Shadow was falling from Space Colony Ark, he managed to use Chaos control to save himself. But, I also believe that at the time, he was full of so much grief and despair he subconsciously willed himself to forget. With his high level of Chaos energy, especially during Chaos control, that energy responded, creating a sort of mental block."

"But if what you say is true, how are we supposed to help him?" Sonic asked.

"By doing exactly what I suggested before." Tails replied. "We find more triggers to his memory, more familiar things that could break through to him. But, the fact is, the Chaos energy reacts to Shadow's will. In order to remember, he has to _want _to remember."

"Of course he wants to remember!" Sonic protested. "He wants to more than anything!"

"Does he?" Tails questioned coolly. "Does he really? We both know he has many ghosts in his past, probably more than we realize. Would _you_ want to remember if you were in his place, Sonic?"

The hedgehog was silent for a moment, considering the question, and then he shrugged. "I don't know." he admitted quietly.

Tails nodded. "Exactly. I also worry about what will happen if Shadow _does _regain his memory. There's no telling how he'll react. This fear isn't going to prevent me from helping him, but all the same, I think we should keep him in the dark about his past for the most part, unless he remembers himself."

"I don't like keeping secrets from him, Tails." Sonic admitted. "He has a right to know about his own life."

"I know how you feel Sonic, but right now the truth could cause him to fall apart. Or even worse, trigger another angry, revenge based rampage. We have to handle this delicately, at least for now. Promise me you won't say anything."

Sonic's frown deepened, and he crossed his arms defiantly.

"_Sonic." _Tails said warningly, blue eyes boring into the hedgehog's soul.

Sonic closed his eyes and let out a reluctant sigh. "I promise."

* * *

Whoever had said that it wasn't possible for a person to die of boredom had clearly never spent over two weeks on bed rest in a stark white room. It hadn't been so bad at first, mostly because Shadow had been in so much pain there wasn't space to dwell on anything other than sleep. But as the days steadily dragged by and his wounds began to heal, Shadow became acutely aware of what little entertainment value recovery provided. He wasn't strong enough to move around, and what little he _could _have done in bed was hindered by the numerous bandages.

More than anything else, Shadow hated the bandages. They stuck to his skin uncomfortably and they _itched_. Tails, who changed the gauze religiously and always somehow seemed to know when he had been scratching, had let him take of few layers off, but he still somewhat resembled a mummy.

But Shadow knew that he had truly hit rock bottom when he realized that the high point of his day was when Sonic came to visit him. True, the hedgehog was annoying as hell, but spending time with him was better than counting the ceiling tiles (again).

One thing that Shadow rapidly discovered about Sonic was that he liked to talk. This was a bit of a problem because Shadow did not. But that was all right, because Sonic hardly needed his help. Basically, his visits consisted of his own one sided conversations, while Shadow, for lack of anything better to do, listened.

Why the blue hedgehog continued to visit was a mystery to Shadow. He was well aware that he wasn't the most pleasant of company. In fact, most of the time he was rather rude. The only reason Shadow could come up with was that Sonic felt sorry for him, therefore he was trying to do everything he could to make his stay a little more bearable. The knowledge that the only reason the hedgehog was here was because of pity did nothing to soften Shadow's demeanor.

Though, even he had to admit Sonic was truly trying. His attempts had ranged from conversation, to trying (unsuccessfully) to set up a TV in the room. At one point, he even tried to read to the ruby eyed hedgehog, resulting in Shadow throwing a pillow at his head.

However, while the boredom was bad, the feeling of helplessness was worse. Despite Tails's claims, Shadow couldn't _make _himself heal any faster. All he could do was lie on his back and dwell on the emptiness in his head and the fact that much of his life was currently at someone else's mercy.

That was why one day he decided to take matters into his own hands.

Tails wouldn't like what Shadow was planning to do. He was so afraid of the hedgehog straining himself. However, it wasn't as if he was planning on running a marathon. He just wanted to see if he could walk from one end of the room to the other. So, after Tails had finished changing his bandages and bringing his lunch (by then Shadow was capable of feeding himself), Shadow began to pull himself out of bed.

It was a harder task than he had expected. Shadow had been lying down for so long, he had become a bit stiff, and the sheets seemed to have conformed to his body. Eventually, Shadow managed to get himself in a sitting position on the edge of the bed, and leaning heavily on the bed frame, he began to stand up.

He stood there for several long moments before he finally felt steady enough to take his first small step. He was admittedly a bit wobbly, but Shadow had been expecting that and it didn't deter him from taking another. Making sure to stick close to the wall for balance, the crimson streaked hedgehog slowly but surely began to make progress across the room.

But being stuck in bed for the better part of a month, especially after obtaining serious, not completely healed injuries, could take a toll on anyone. The second that Shadow felt that he had a handle on walking and risked letting go of the wall, he was overwhelmed by a sudden sense of dizziness and his legs crumpled.

Inwardly berating himself for his own stupidity and dimly wondering how he was going to get up again once he reached the floor, Shadow braced himself for the impact…

…that never came.

It was as if the whole world had been going in slow motion as he had been falling, then abruptly sped up again as peach arms wrapped around his torso and pulled Shadow up awkwardly towards an equally peach chest. It was difficult for his mind to process this sudden shift. Therefore it took several seconds of dumbfounded silence before his brain finally caught up.

"Whoa, that was a close one," Sonic said. "Are you all right, Shads?"

Shadow was still too stunned to do anything other than nod stupidly. Carefully, Sonic led him so he was sitting on the bed once again, and then joined Shadow there.

"Okay, I have to ask. What were you thinking?" Sonic demanded, "God knows how long it's been since you've last used your legs, not to mention all the muscle damage from the burns, and what do you decide to do? Go for an afternoon stroll."

Sonic, despite the obvious sarcasm, hadn't intended to come off as harsh or unkind. However, after weeks of boredom, helplessness, and frustration, something in Shadow snapped.

"What was I thinking? Gee, I don't know. Maybe that I'm tired of slowly rotting away in this bed! Tired of watching life go by as I lie here, helpless and trapped in my own body! I'm not allowed to leave this room! My mind is a completely blank slate! I don't even remember what I _look_ like! I'm as weak as an infant and there isn't anything I can do about it!"

If Sonic was surprised by Shadow's outburst, he didn't show it. Instead, he just looked at the hedgehog and calmly asked, "And what made you think you had to do this alone?"

And for all of Shadow's anger and frustration, he couldn't come up with an answer to that.

"Shadow, I know that it's hard to accept, but you're not going to get better by yourself. I want to help you, but I can't do that if you don't let me."

Shadow clenched his fists. The logical part of his brain knew that Sonic was right. But at the same time, he couldn't help but feel that accepting help was the same thing as accepting defeat. And if there was one thing Shadow hated, it was losing. But still… "I want to get better."

Sonic smiled and held out his hand. "Then you're going to have to trust me."

Shadow hesitated briefly, but he slowly reached out and clenched the cerulean hedgehog's warm fingers. However, if he was going to trust this person, there was still one thing he needed to know. "Why? Why do you want to help me?"

Sonic didn't say anything for a long time, and for a moment Shadow thought he wasn't going to answer. But finally, the hedgehog said so quietly that Shadow wasn't completely certain that he had really spoken, "Because I wasn't able to the first time around."

Shadow didn't get a chance to ask what that meant because in that moment, Sonic chose to wrap an arm around his shoulders and waist. Slowlyly he lifted the two of them off the bed, allowing Shadow to lean heavily against him.

"What are you doing?" Shadow asked.

"You said that you wanted to know what you looked like, right?" Sonic replied, "Well, I'm going to show you."

With slow, careful steps the two hedgehogs walked across the room towards a small closet. Taking a moment to readjust Shadow so Sonic had an arm free, he reached out to open the door. There, hanging on the other side of it, was a full body mirror.

It is a rare experience to look at yourself for the first time without judgment or preconceived expectations, and the opportunity was not lost on Shadow. With a free hand, he pulled off the remaining gauze covering his body, not caring about the possible consequences. He wanted to see everything. By now, Shadow's fur had pretty much grown back, and he took note of its black color and crimson stripes.

_That's me, _Shadow thought wonderingly as he reached out to touch the mirror's shiny surface. The ruby eyed hedgehog looking back at him mimiced the action.

"You look a lot like me, don't you," Sonic remarked, startling Shadow slightly.

Upon closer inspection, Shadow could see that it was true. They _did _look remarkably similar. There was a difference between coloration and quill shape, but they were of the same size and build, and they had almost identical facial structures. From a distance, it probably would have been impossible to tell them apart.

The knowledge that he was even remotely similar to someone he considered to be an idiot caused his initial awe to be tempered with something close to irritation. "No," he answered hotly. "I look nothing like you. If anything _you're _the one who looks like me."

Sonic chuckled good-naturedly. "Is there a difference?"

"Yes," Shadow insisted, even though he knew there wasn't one, really. "You can't compare yourself to me. You're just a faker."

Sonic's eyes widened. "What did you just call me?"

"I called you a faker," Shadow repeated. He knew he was being childish, but the word felt good on his tongue. It felt right. And right then, he felt more alive than he ever had in all his limited memory. "However, I think that would be giving you too much credit. You're not even good enough to be my fake."

Shadow had expected Sonic to get angry, maybe fire a few insults back. In truth, it was what he wanted. But instead, when Sonic actually opened his mouth, Shadow could only stare in bewilderment as the blue hedgehog laughed and laughed and laughed.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I know Shadow's flashback wasn't completely accurate according to what happened to him in the games. However, in order to fit my story, let's all pretend that when Maria sent Shadow to Earth, he managed to get out of the escape capsule only to be captured again by GUN and put into cryogenic sleep.


End file.
